| [ People who make hand-kisses are freaking lazy!
] |
 no votes yet 
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| [ On your knees! I am online
] |
no votes yet
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| [ (name) connecting people...
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Wait a minute... I am bringing an offer to the toilet gods
] |
no votes yet
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| [ What does really suck? A giraffe with pain in his neck
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Hi! My name's Nobody. Nobody is perfect.
] |
no votes yet
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| [ La La Li La - Can't hear you - La Li La La
] |
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| [ You don't have to be the best, be better than the rest!
] |
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| [ I can do it, I can let it be but I get it done!
] |
no votes yet
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| [ It's brown and it doesn't weight much... lightbrown!
] |
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| [ Did you just grab my ass?
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Select my name and press ALT + F4
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?
] |
no votes yet
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| [ This guy/girl needs a tutorial
] |
no votes yet
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| [ A selfish person is someone who doesn't think about me
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Does people working at Pickwick ever get a coffeebreak?
] |
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| [ Who farted!?
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Here I am! What were your other 2 wishes?
] |
no votes yet
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| [ It's green and it's peaks behind a corner... a spionach!
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Nobody like me, so I always have 1 friend
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Girls/Boys are great, every boy/girl should own one
] |
no votes yet
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| [ You know it's always business doing pleasure with you
] |
no votes yet
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| [ If you throw rice at weddings, will asian people throw hotdogs?
] |
no votes yet
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| [ I’ve lost my phone number, can I have yours?
] |
no votes yet
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| [ One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
] |
no votes yet
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| [ When I’m good, I’m really good, but when I’m bad I’m better
] |
no votes yet
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| [ I'm not smiling at you, I'm trying not to laugh!
] |
no votes yet
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| [ 24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence? I think not…
] |
no votes yet
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| [ I'm fat, but your ugly. I can diet
] |
no votes yet
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| [ English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England!
] |
no votes yet
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| [ You may laugh because I'm different but I laugh because you're all the same
] |
no votes yet
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| [ If at first you dont succeed skydiving isnt for you
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Take a break like it is a sort of screen saver!
] |
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| [ I am on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!
] |
no votes yet
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| [ ScReW TwiZzLeRS!! i'LL MaKe YoUr MoUtH HaPPy!
] |
no votes yet
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| [ I aint guilty, im just not innocent! ;-)
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Can I get your picture? I collect nature disasters
] |
no votes yet
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| [ For all you who talk about me, thanks for making ME the center of YOUR world!
] |
no votes yet
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| [ I'm cool, I'm hot....I'm everything you're not
] |
no votes yet
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| [ You and the bank own a very lovely home
] |
no votes yet
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| [ I would tell ya to go to hell but all dogs go to heaven
] |
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| [ I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
] |
no votes yet
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| [ You don't buy the drink here, you only rent it
] |
no votes yet
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| [ All racists who are prepared to die for their country, why not now?
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Drinking is the answer, I don't remember the question
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Superman is a travestite
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Booze is the answer. I don't remember the question
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Lower the age of puberty!
] |
no votes yet
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| [ God bless Atheism
] |
no votes yet
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| [ I drink to make other people interesting
] |
no votes yet
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| [ My life is like a porno-movie, without the sex
] |
no votes yet
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| [ An unfortunate person is one tries to fart but shits instead
] |
no votes yet
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| [ A miserable person is one who truly enjoys a fart but can't
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Anarchists of the world, unite!
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Why doesn't the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Don't be open-minded, your brains might fall out
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss
] |
no votes yet
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| [ On the other hand, you have different fingers
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Who laughs last, thinks the slowest
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Pizza is a lot like sex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good
] |
no votes yet
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| [ I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!
] |
no votes yet
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| [ I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it
] |
no votes yet
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| [ That money talks I don't deny... I just heard mine yell: Goodbye!!
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids
] |
no votes yet
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| [ I'm not a follower... I'm a leader with the same idea
] |
no votes yet
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| [ This is where Napolean beat his bone-a-part
] |
no votes yet
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| [ First law of science: don't spit into the wind
] |
no votes yet
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| [ I refuse to join any club that would have me for a member
] |
no votes yet
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| [ If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
] |
no votes yet
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| [ My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted
] |
no votes yet
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| [ If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Even hot girls have to fart
] |
no votes yet
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| [ I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Do you got with me get lost? I know the way
] |
no votes yet
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| [ It was a brave man who ate the first oyster
] |
no votes yet
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| [ There are three types of economists. Those who can count, and those who can't
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Sure, there's no "I" in team, but there is an "M" and an "E"
] |
no votes yet
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| [ If my car was a horse, I would have to shoot it!
] |
no votes yet
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| [ An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire hius work
] |
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| [ Men are like roses, you got to watch out for all the pricks
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Behind every successful woman, is a man who is surprised
] |
no votes yet
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| [ I don't hate you, I just need someone to take my anger out on
] |
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| [ I love deadlines, especially the whooshing sound they make as they go by
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Whoever said nothing's impossible never tried to slam a revolving door
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Haggis is a self cleaning meal. Leave it for a while and it will get up and walk away
] |
no votes yet
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| [ A man that has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feelings
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Who's cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have a "s" in it?
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Why is it that the most unattractive people in this world insist on being nudists?
] |
no votes yet
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| [ I'm not a dumb blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot!
] |
no votes yet
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| [ I don't know if I'm a player. Ask one of my girlfriends
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Virginity is like a bubble... One tiny prick and it's gone
] |
no votes yet
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| [ If guys had their period, they'd probably brag about the size of our tampons
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ Fat people are harder to kidnap
] |
no votes yet
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| [ If one synchronized swimmer drowns, does that mean they all have to?
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Fat Girls are like Mopeds: fun to ride, but you don't want your friends to catch you
] |
no votes yet
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| [ If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten
] |
no votes yet
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| [ I wear the pants in this house. My wife just tells me which pair to wear
] |
no votes yet
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| [ We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture
] |
no votes yet
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| [ We don't have a town drunk. We all share the responsibilty
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Passwords are like underwear: change them often
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Next time wave all your fingers at me!
] |
no votes yet
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| [ When it comes to baldness, it's not about losing more hair, it's about getting more head
] |
no votes yet
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| [ The height of laziness is a man is shitting on the beach and waiting for the tide
] |
no votes yet
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| [ What do they call Bush his zipper? The "U.S. Open
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ Beer: helping ugly people get laid since 1823
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Impotence: Nature's way of saying "no hard feelings"
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Everyone likes a little ass, but no one likes a smart ass
] |
no votes yet
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| [ I like my steak so rare that when you poke it, it still says mooooo
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ The only reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Earth first. We'll screw up the other planets later
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Only in America do they buy a double cheese burger, large fries and a DIET COKE
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ Oh man this is crazy, I hope I didn't brain my damage
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ Time flies like the wind; fruit flies like bananas
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ If you dont like my driving, then stay off the sidewalk
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ Be a Minimalist. It's the least you can do
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ After working here, I now realize that "Dilbert" is not a comic strip. It's a documentary
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ Behind every great woman, is a guy looking at her ass
] |
no votes yet
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| [ I never appoligize! I'm sorry, that's just not the way I am
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ Moblie phones are the only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ Stupid statistics cost american companies 30 zillion dollars each year
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Ass, Grass, or Gas: everybody's gotta pay
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man
] |
no votes yet
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| [ They speak of my drinking but they never consider my thirst
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ We'd better get outta here, I think I hear one of those silent alarms
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ I don't like to repeat things, so listen carefully the first six times
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ I must confess, I was born at a very early age
] |
no votes yet
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| [ I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup
] |
no votes yet
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| [ I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ I invented the cordless extension cord
] |
no votes yet
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| [ I can't come tonight, my tires got dizzy...
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ You're unique, just like everyone else....
] |
no votes yet
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| [ Everybody has the right to be stupid but your breaking the rules!
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ Why do our noses run and our feet smell?
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ Save a mouse, eat a pussy
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ Keep Earth clean, it's not Ur-anus
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ Make love not war. Condoms are cheaper than guns
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ Don't do it behind the garden gate love is blind but the neighbours ain't!
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ When you judge others you dont define them you define yourself.. :-)
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ The more I learn, the more I forget. So why would I learn?
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ You're looking at perfection, and it ain't you!
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ Do blind eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?
] |
1 up, 0 down
|
| [ If electricty comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
] |
1 up, 0 down
|
| [ Never wish on 1 star more than 1nce cause your luck ALWAYS runs out!
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ I know that you know that I know that you think I'm the best, that's why you never tell me
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ We both know I'm the best, that's why you never tell me
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ Women/Men are proof that women/men can take a joke
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ As long as my boss pretends that I'm earning much, I'm pretending that I work hard
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ An answer to that nagging question............... I let the dogs out!
] |
no votes yet
|
| [ What do an Icebear have after swimming? Snowballs! ] |
no votes yet
|
